Friday, January 18, 2019

Trump to Try Again for North Korean Asylum



In light of the gathering storm clouds in Washington President Donald Trump has decided to take another stab at securing political asylum in North Korea.

“I would be kidding you if I didn’t realize the moment that I was elected that I might need a ‘soft landing spot.’  Jared was supposed to grease the skids in Saudi Arabia but that crazy MBS screwed that up.”

Surprisingly, Trump warmed to the idea of North Korea as new home.

“To tell you the truth, Kim Jong Un reminds a little bit of a young, Asian Donald Trump.  He’s brash, he’s got a hot first wife, a little bit of a gut, crazy hair – what’s not to like.  I think we'll get along fine.”

Somehow, Trump has not found the prospect of moving to the grim territory sometimes known as the “Hermit Kingdom” to be daunting.

“From what I hear, there’s a great workforce, but the place just needs a little pizzaz.  That’s where I come in.”

Stunned by his recent failure to gain asylum in Iraq during a flash visit in November, Trump realizes that the pressure is on to ‘seal the deal’ with Kim.

“Hey, Mueller could come knocking on the door any day.  I tried to drop a few hints during our last meeting, so this time I need to turn on the charm.”

Trump does have some misgivings, however.

“I still haven’t figured out how to break the news to Melania.”

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