An Unofficial National Emergency

The White House

January 11, 2019

- Do you see how all those libs are foaming at the mouth whether I will declare a national emergency?  I told you this would work!

- Well played, sir.

- Now, we have to keep up the pressure.

- What do you mean?

- Don’t you get it?  I said there is a national emergency, so we have to do something.  Otherwise, tomorrow the headlines are going to be ‘Mueller this’ and ‘Mueller that’ all over again.  So let’s make it official.

- Again, sir.  I don’t follow.  Wasn’t your statement enough?

- I don’t know.  Maybe we need to mobilize … um … um … what’s the name of that group?  You made me go to their headquarters – the one over a McDonalds.

- Do you mean FEMA?

- Huh?

- The Federal Emergency Management Agency.

- Yeah, that’s the one.  Let’s get them rolling.  I want to see trucks rolling, people in uniforms running around, the whole works – we need good footage for Fox to run.  In fact, maybe I should …

- Sorry to interrupt, sir, we can’t do that.

- What do you mean we can’t do that?  I’m in charge here, so if I tell FEMA to jump, they jump!
- Sir, we can’t do that because FEMA has been furloughed.  I thought you knew that.
- Oh, crap.  What do I need to do, declare war?  Or did we furlough the army, too?