February 20, 2021
Eric: Mr. Weinberg,
we want to thank you for agreeing to speak at the CPAC convention. When we saw your article ‘The Class Roots of
the January 6 Events,’ we knew right away that you are our kind of people.
Weinberg: Thank you.
Actually, I am just thrilled that anyone even read it.
Donald Jr.: Yes
sir, it’s refreshing to see how we are not the only ones who recognize that the
working class has been ignored in this country for too long.
Eric: And not
only that, but we also thought if we could add some more speakers who, like yourself,
are … um … how should I put this, of the Hebrew persuasion.
Weinberg: Hebrew? Sorry, guys, I don’t know a word of Hebrew,
just a few Yiddish words that I picked up from my father’s Lenny Bruce albums.
[Trumps look at each other in befuddlement]
Donald Jr.: Okay. The thing is, we just need a clear message in support of the working class.
Weinberg: So
what part of my article did you like best?
I’d just like to know what I should emphasize in my talk.
Eric: Well,
basically, you know, how the elite has ignored the working class, so sometimes
the workers need to take action on their own.
Weinberg: Amen
to that. But should I talk about how
their real enemies are the bankers on Wall Street or on how workers should occupy
vacant housing?
Donald Jr.:
[Nervously] Um, no actually, it would help if you talk about how Donald
Trump is the real friend of the working class.
Weinberg: Donald
Trump?! I wrote about how the
lumpenproletariat has rallied around this false idol and how the conscious working
class need to focus its energies on its real needs, like the confiscation of
unearned wealth, the nationalization of the health care industry, and ... Wait a second -- Just what does CPAC stand for? I thought it was Communist Party - Atlantic Coast.
Eric: Whoa, I’m
sorry to interrupt, Mr. Weinberg, but I just got a text saying the conference
has been cancelled. So, well, goodbye.
[Phone goes dead]
Donald Jr.: Eric
….
Eric: Don’t
say it. I know. I should have read the article first.
Donald Jr.: You’re
damn right you should have read the article.
Do you realize what a disaster that would have been?
Eric: But it
was behind a pay wall.
