August 14, 2022
In response to the shocking news about the FBI search warrant for illegally stored documents at Mar-A-Lago, former President Trump’s son Eric speculated that seized documents contained nothing out of the ordinary, “"You'd have, you know, newspaper articles, pictures, notes from us…. “ AW News has since obtained the following family notes seized from the Trump vault.
January 7, 1994
Dear Dad,
Thanks for the beautiful check! It is really cool! And $50 – almost as much as you gave Ivanka! Only my name is Eric with a c, not a k. Will the bank still take it?
Love,
Eric
February 8, 1995
Father,
If your idiot wife calls me Ivana one more time I am going to hit her. Don’t be late again for our dinner on Friday – the caterer gets mad.
XOXO
Pumpkin
May 1, 1996
Dear Dad,
The people at Harvard tell me that the need at least a $25 million to accept me. That shouldn’t be a problem, right?
Junior, i.e., Donald Junior -- your oldest son
August 6, 2002
Dear Dad,
My sister was really mean to me again in the elevator today. What’s a bastard?
Love you,
Tiff
August 9, 2002
Father,
Tell my half-sister to talk to my people if she needs anything.
XOXO
Pumpkin
November 20, 2004
Hi Dad,
We were all wondering if we could look at your prenup before you marry that model lady. Okay, it’s really Ivanka but she’s afraid to ask. Think we could have a looksie? Maybe at Thanksgiving dinner. I’m invited, right?
Eric (with a c)
January 10, 2005
Dad,
I had a great time at the wedding. Does “mom” have a hot sister?
Junior
September 20, 2005
Father,
I warned you to include a ‘no-child’ clause this time. This one better not be coming out of my share.
XOXO
Pumpkin
July 15, 2016
Dear Dad,
Who’s this Penny guy? I thought I would be your vice president. Could you make me an ambassador or something?
Donald Trump, Jr., your oldest son and the main beneficiary of your will – right?
May 8, 2017
Dear Dad,
Sorry I blabbed about how much Russian money we take in. Do you think that will be a problem?
Eric/Erik
March 22, 2019
Dear Dad,
It turns out the bank will not take a check made out to ‘Melania’s kid.’ Think I could have another? It’s B-a-r-r-o-n.
Love,
Barron, i.e., Melania's kid
