Washington, DC
February 26, 2019
On the eve of his much anticipated Congressional testimony,
in which he is expected to reveal secret details of Donald Trump’s questionable
business practices and the interaction between the Trump campaign and Russian intelligence
in 2016, former Trump attorney Michael Cohen sat down with us to share a few
other insights into his former client.
Melania Never
Signed Her Pre-Nup
“The boss had me write up the details, so I know better
than anyone that his plan was for her to get squat if they ever divorced. I asked him if he wanted me to get her
signature, but he said Donald Jr. would take care of it. Let’s just say that when the boss found out
after the ceremony that Donald Jr. forgot he had me write up the
details of a new will with a much bigger share for 'Marla's kid.'”
Planned a Porno
Star Video Series
“After his … um … well, you know, with Stormy Daniels, he
had this idea that she was going to tell all her porno actress friends how
great it was and that they would be lining up to … um … with him too. He had a plan to tape the … um … “sessions”
and package them into some kind of special.
His big idea was to tape them secretly, then, when the girl wasn’t paying attention, he was
going to leer into the camera and say, “Now, she’s hired!” He wouldn’t believe me that the secret taping
was illegal but I was able to convince him that his “Apprentice” contract had a
morals clause.”
The Real Goal in
2016 was an NFL Franchise
“Other than building a hotel in Moscow, Donald Trump’s number
one goal in life is to own an NFL franchise. His thinking was that the next time a team came
on the market, having been the standard bearer for a major party would be
enough to make the rest of the owners look past his shaky finances and string
of past bankruptcies. It actually wasn’t
a bad idea, but then his Russian friends turned out to be more resourceful than
he expected.”
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