On the eve of his improbable inauguration as the nation's 45th president, Donald Trump is still under the impression that the 'Million Women March on Washington,' planned for the following day is intended as a protest against his inauguration, according to his aides. "No kidding. It's actually kind of creepy. He seems to think that this is some kind of mass apology from American women for all their 'vicious attacks' during the campaign -- his words." Trump was even considering staying in Washington over the weekend so he could attend the event rather than going to New York, but his staff was able to convince him that the Secret Service had not verified the security. "You wouldn't believe it. He really expected to just show up, recycle a couple of Hillary jokes, make a couple remarks about what 'classy dames' they were, then soak in the applause from a million women -- though he's pretty sure more than a million will show up." "But what am I going to do?" Mr. Trump was quoted as saying, "the 'ball-and-chain' wants me to go to New York."
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