Monday, January 23, 2017

Mystery of Low Inauguration Turnout Explained

As Washington smirked over photos of empty podiums during the inaugural parade and the Trump Administration invoked "alternative facts" to defend its crowd estimates, an unpleasant surprise awaited Melania Trump when she returned to her apartment in New York and found several large boxes in the foyer.  "Oh no, the invitations!  How could I have forgotten?"  In fact, in the weeks since the election the new First Lady rarely appeared outside Trump Towers because she was hard at work in her first duty as presidential spouse, personally addressing and stamping thousands of invitations to her husband's most loyal supporters around the country.  "Donald's in the hospitality business, so he knows how important the personal touch is.  And he always said I have nice penmanship.  I was sure I asked one of Donald's new assistants to drop them by the post office."  Here, Mrs. Trump nervously pointed at one of her husband's Secret Service detail.  She continued, in a whisper, "They're such snobs.  They think they're too good to accept a tip."

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