Ever since being briefed that Russian intelligence operatives claim to have compromising material on him, President-elect Donald Trump has held a series of urgent meetings with his closest advisers speculating what that material might be. What they know is that this kompromat does not include his history of discriminatory housing practices, multiple bankruptcies, reputation for cheating contractors, mockery of the handicapped, race-baiting, misogyny, or general vulgarity. So far, Trump's best guess is that this material might involve a momentary lapse in judgement while visiting Moscow for the 2013 Miss Universe Pageant. "Normally when I travel, I own the hotel, literally, so I don't care what I stuff in my suitcase. When I got back to New York I remember unpacking and I pulled out this towel with blue and white trim that said 'Hotel Metropole.' I thought, holy crap, I should return this. But then I had this big meeting to go over my taxes and it just slipped my mind." The President-elect sent his soon-to-be counterpart Vladimir Putin an email asking about the stories but has yet to receive a reply. "I guess he's busy tying up loose ends in Syria -- Syria, right?"
No comments:
Post a Comment