Tuesday, December 11, 2018

El Chapo Tapped to Design New Trump Tower



Attorneys for reputed Mexican druglord Joaquín "El Chapo" Guzmán were surprised, to say the least, when they received an overture from the Trump Organization to their client.  

"It was totally unsolicited.  They want to hire him as a consultant for their next building project.  To tell you the truth, it is a little cryptic.  Like this (reading): 'Given your known demand for luxurious accommodation under the most trying circumstances, we feel you are the perfect candidate to help design the next Trump Tower.'  And they have quotes around 'Tower.'  What do you think they're talking about?  And get this (reads on): 'The inhabitant -- that's right, not guest, or guests -- of our new facility will expect more than comfortable and elegant quarters: easy access and egress -- egress is underlined and in bold -- are our highest priority.'  And here's the kicker (continues):  'Again, we think you are the perfect man to help us in the design and construction of this project, you dig?'  That's right, it says 'You dig?'  Who talks like that anymore?''

"Has El Chapo been apprised of the offer?"

"Absolutely.  We had the letter translated and read to him.  Funny, he seemed to understand all the points that confused us."

"Is he considering it?"

"Of course, right now he's on trial for murder, so he's pretty focused on that, but he said he wants to see the Mueller report before making any commitments."

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