Minutes after receiving notification that he had been named
interim White House Chief of Staff, current budget director Mick Mulvaney held
an impromptu press conference where he made a startling announcement:
Mulvaney: Although
deeply honored by this appointment, it has come to my attention that I do not
have legal status to work in the United States, so I will be self-deporting back
to Ireland as soon as I can find a cheap flight.
Reporter: Director,
how can that be? You were born and
raised in this country.
Mulvaney: That may
be. But I now know that when my
great-grandparents first came to this country, they did not obtain proper
immigrant visas beforehand. Understand?
Illegal immigrants. This great
country that I had mistakenly grown up believing to be my own deserves to be
protected from the likes of me.
Reporter: But Mr.
Mulvaney, this country has birthright citizenship. That means you, your parents, your
grandparents, were all legally US citizens.
Mulvaney: I wish that
were true.
Reporter: But it is true!
Are you sure this isn’t a ploy just to get out of working in the Trump
White House?
Mulvaney: [Laughs
nervously] I don’t know where you would get a crazy idea like that, no
sirree. If it were not for this
unfortunate circumstance, there is nothing I would like more than to help
President Trump implement his brilliant ideas.
But instead, I’ll be back in my homeland catching up with all the
Mulvaneys in … um … wherever I can find Mulvaney’s in Ireland, which as you
know, is separated from Washington by an ocean.
LMAOROTF
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