White House on COVID Deaths: "They're Only Dying to Hurt the President"

White House Briefing Room

July 17, 2020

Reporter:  Kayleigh, for weeks the White House has been saying that we should not be alarmed about the rising number of COVID cases because the number of deaths is dropping.  But this week the number of deaths has started to rise noticeably.   Has this caused you to reevaluate your position?

McEnany:  We are aware that some of these figures look bad, which is why the President ordered all the data come through the White House this week.

Reporter:  And what have you learned so far?

McEnany:  We stand by our position that the pandemic is under control.  We are convinced that these people dying are only trying to embarrass the President.

Reporter:  [Gasps in the room]  How could you say that?

McEnany:  Well, we looked at the backgrounds of a few random victims yesterday.  Example A: Ms. Brenda Jones of Flagstaff, AZ.  On the face of it, she was just a 63-year old grandmother who liked baking cookies for her grandchildren, but when we delved into her social media history we saw that over the years she has “liked” posts on Earth Day, Cinco de Mayo, and Oprah Winfrey.  It’s clear that she hated Donald Trump – until yesterday, at any rate.

Reporter:  But …

McEnany:  [Interrupts] Then there’s Arthur Smith of Clear Springs, TN.  Just a 47-year old meatpacker unfortunate enough to die from COVID, right?  Not so fast.  His obituary notes that he was a lifelong union member.  Do I need to draw you a picture?

[Silence] ... Come on! He was a labor radical, possibly an Antifa activist, who was ready to do anything to hurt President Trump’s electoral chances.

Reporter:  Are you saying these people are being infected on purpose too?

McEnany:  That’s something we are looking into.  We are also looking into whether George Soros is behind this satanic plot.  But we think it's plain to see that they are choosing to die.  That's what you should be reporting.

Reporter:  Could you draw us a picture on how this is plain to see?

McEnany:  Through his leadership, President Trump has created national stockpiles of hydroxychloroquine and remdesivir, the only two known cures for COVID-19, thus paving the way to restart the economy and reopen our schools.  So the only possible explanation for anyone dying from the virus in July 2020 is that they are refusing these life-saving treatments.

Reporter:  But didn’t Dr. Fauci say that neither of these are a cure?

McEnany:  What day is it?

Reporter:  Friday, why do you ask?

McEnany:  [Looks over paper] Actually, we don’t care what Dr. Fauci says on Fridays.  Check with me again on Monday.