Trump: See, I'm Not Too Old!

White House 

June 23, 2020

[Hallway outside Oval Office. Aide 1 antically waving arms.  Aide 2 approaches]

Aide 1:  Get Mr. Kushner, or Mrs. Kushner, or Mr. Pence.  Just get someone quick!

Aide 2:  What is it?

Aide 1:  This is bad.  Oh, this is so bad … [starts hyperventilating]

Aide 2:  Okay.  Just calm down and tell me what it is.

Aide 1:  He … he … he wants to go golfing this afternoon.

Aide 2:  What’s wrong with that?  It soothes him.  At least he won’t be tweeting.  I wish he went golfing every day.

Aide 1:  You don’t get it.  He wants to bring the press to follow him along on the course.

Aide 2:  What?  Doesn’t he know what this will look like?

Aide 1:  It’s 2020, and you’re still asking “Doesn’t he know what this will look like?”

Aide 2:  Okay, okay.  But why now?

Aide 1:  He’s still a little sore about how the whole ‘Rampgate’ thing.  He thinks if they see him on the golf course it will put the whole "he's too old" story to rest.

Aide 2:  You’re right, this is bad.  Remember how last week his cart sank in the sand trap and it took four secret service agents to haul it out?

Aide 1:  Well, one could have handled it if the President would have just gotten out.

Aide 2:  Or how about the time he tipped over when he chipped on a hill?  Then there’s that grunt he lets out when he hits a drive.

Aide 1:  Yup.

Aide 2:   And who can forget the time he tried to do the "Tiger punch" and he split his pants.

Aide 1:  Yup.

Aide 2:  And -- oh my God -- the press will report how many shots he actually takes!

Aide 1:  Yup.  That would be a first.  That’s why …

Aide 2:  I’ll find Mr. Kushner right away [Sprints down hallway]