Trump Really Misses Golf

Overheard Outside a White House COVID-19 Briefing

Reporter:  Come on, Joe, the old boy really can’t be serious about ending social distancing so soon.  Is it all for show?

WH Aide:  No, he is really serious about this.  In fact, it’s pretty personal.

Reporter:  You mean he wants to look like a decisive leader to his base?

WH Aide:  No, he has tickets to the Masters this year.

Reporter:  The Masters?

WH Aide:  Yes, it’s a golf tournament.  They play it …

Reporter:  I know that, but I still don’t understand why it’s so important.

WH Aide:  Are you kidding?  It’s easier to buy a congressman than to score tickets to the Masters, but this year he got lucky in the lottery.

Reporter:  The lottery?  But he’s President of the United States.  Can’t he just call them up and say he’s coming?

WH Aide:  You don’t think he’s tried that?  They are really strict at Augusta.  This year’s tournament has already been postponed and if this social distancing goes on much longer, he’s afraid they might cancel.  He thinks this year might be his last chance to go.

Reporter:  What about next year?

WH Aide:  Let’s say, last chance to see it in person, instead of on a wide-screen TV at a minimum security federal prison.

Reporter:  It’s starting to make sense.