Another Gift From Vlad

White House – Washington, DC

December 10, 2019

Lavrov: Donald, President Putin wanted you to know that he didn’t forget you. [Hands a small gift]

Trump:  Oh, tell him he didn’t have to. [Excitedly unwraps package] Another tie bar!  Wow, this is even nicer than the last one.

Lavrov: He thought you would like it.

Trump:  Like it?  I love it!  What is this, titanium?

Lavrov: Something like that.  Also, Donald, I need to take the last tie bar that President Putin gave you [Reaches over and removes Trump’s tie bar]

Trump:  [Shocked] Hey, Sergey, what gives?  Can’t I keep that one too, as a memento?

Lavrov: Um … well, actually, Donald … um … President Putin is worried because these tie bars were recalled.  Yes, they were recalled because, they might be radioactive.

Trump:  Really?  That’s funny, because I thought I heard it buzzing some times.

Lavrov: See, I grabbed it just in time.  We – you, I mean you – won’t have to worry about that this new one making noise.  Now remember, Donald, President Putin requests that you wear this tie pin at all times.

Trump:  Of course.

Lavrov: For example, President Putin is pretty sure that you were not wearing your old pin when you were on the phone with President Zelensky last summer. 

Trump:  That’s right.  I was on my way to the course so I had already changed out of my suit.  Wow, it’s almost like Vlad was in the room with me!

Lavrov: Almost, Donald, almost.