Melania: What Does She Mean He's Not a Real Baron?

London

December 4, 2019

MT:  Donald!

DT:   Yes, sugar plum!

MT:  Don’t try with the sexy talk.  Did you hear what that lawyer lady said today?

DT:   You have to be more specific, baby, because I have to listen to ‘lawyer ladies’ all day long.

MT:  The one talking about the whole peachy thing.

DT:   Impeachment.

MT:  Yeah, that.  Well, did you hear what she said?

DT:   No, what?

MT:  [Plays tape of Professor Karlan] “…so while the president can name his son Barron, he can't make him a baron."

DT:   [Chuckles] Not bad.

MT:  Not bad?!  What does she mean you can’t make him a baron?  You told me he was a baron!

DT:   [Nervously] Now, pumpkin, I am pretty sure I told you he was ‘our little baron,’ or something like that.

MT:  No, you told me that you were so rich you could make our baby a baron.

DT:   But didn’t you notice the spelling was …

MT:  Are you calling me dumb?

DT:   No, no dear, of course.  Listen.  As long as we’re here in England, I’ll get the Queen to make him a baron.  I can tell she really likes me.  How about that?

MT:  Oh, could you?  That would be great, Donald.

DT:   No problem, I’ll just ring up my buddy Boris Johnson to see how this works.

MT:  Maybe she could make him a duke, or a prince?  Baron Barron Trump just sounds silly.

DT:   [In the background]  What do you mean Mr. Johnson will be busy until I am back in America?  Did you tell him this is urgent?