All 100 U.S. Senators Summoned to the White House for Time-Share Presentation

Senator John Barasso (R-WY) was a little confused by the much ballyhooed convocation of all 100 U.S. Senators for an unprecedented security briefing at the White House on Wednesday.  "We walk into the room, and there's not only Ivanka, but the President's elder children seated at the dais as well.  Everything started normally.  Some 3-Star from the Joint Chiefs of Staff got up and explained why we consider the strategic threat from North Korea to be so urgent -- I can't go into all the details.  But then, Donald Jr. stands up and interjects, 'But remember, those North Korean missiles only threaten the West Coast.'  I mean, after that we're all looking at each other wondering what the world is going on.  So after that, some Vice Admiral gets up to describe our assets in the region -- pretty sobering -- when Eric stands and announces, 'While those Hollywood types are shaking in their boots, how would you like to be relaxing here?'  Then, this huge screen appears behind the monitor that the military folks were using, showing images of a gentle tide rolling in on a sun drenched beach.  The next presentation was from State -- I know, right? -- on our diplomatic efforts.  But that huge screen in the backdrop kept rolling.  Soon it showed a view of a luxury hi-rise nestling behind palms trees with the sign, get this, Playa del Trump.  So, I'm thinking, sure this is kind of over-the-top, but who says national security and business can't mix?  The guy from State finally sits down, and Ivanka steps forward and tells us, 'I know you have been given a lot of information to take in, but here's one more thing to consider: 6-week packages for ocean-side suites at Playa del Trump are now going for $150,000.  If you don't act fast, you may live to regret it.'  There was a little grumbling, then Donald Jr. shouted out, 'For the first 20 Senators who sign up there's a 10% discount.  Just mention the code 'Doomsday2017' when you speak with our business agent.'"  When asked if he still thought this marriage of state and private business was acceptable, Senator  Barasso replied, "Can't talk now.  I need to run this by the Missus before I sign a contract."