Eric: Dad? I know we're not supposed to have much
contact -- conflicts of interest, and all -- but I wanted to know the great
news. We're going to have a baby!
Donald: That is
great news. Congratulations, son.
Eric: I understand
if you don't have much time to talk, but as long as I have you on the line, how
did that hearing go? You know, the one
on Russia.
Donald: Are you
kidding? It went great, but, um ... I was just thinking. What's more important than family? Right?
Maybe I should just quit this job while I'm ahead so I can help take
care of that new grandchild.
Eric: What? You can't be serious. First, of all, if you're worried about
family, maybe you could start be spending some time with Barron.
Donald: Who?
Eric: Your son --
Barron, remember? Wife No. 3?
Donald: Of
course. Of course. I thought you meant that real Baron who used to live in Palm Beach. Hey,
Barron's doing great, but how often do I get to spoil a grandchild?
Eric: Oh
yeah? Okay, grandpa, what are Ivanka's
childrens' names?
Donald: Um, don't
tell me it's ... it's ... something from the Bible ... wait ....
Eric: How about
Tiffany? What's her baby's name?
Donald: Beauregard?
Eric: Tiffany
doesn't have a baby! Come on, Dad, tell
me what's going on.
Donald: Okay,
maybe this is a little tougher than I was expecting, but really hoping to get
back to ... family. Yeah, back to
spending more time with the family. And
by the way, I see the new Forbes list came out ...
Eric: Shhhh.
Remember Dad, no business. Anyway, great
chat, gotta run.
Donald, To a dead
phone, despairingly: ... down $1 Billion.
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