Trump Visits the Doctor

Walter Reed National Military Medical Center

Bethesda, MD

November 16, 2019

Trump:  Ouch.

Doctor:  How about here?

Trump:  Ouch!  God, even worse.

Doctor:  Okay, now how about here?

Trump:  Not too bad.  Well, doc, what is it?

Doctor:  You were right, Mr. President.  It’s the bone spurs.

Trump:  I knew it.  Everybody is always on me about how irritable I am.  I’d like to see them try to sit through some 2-hour briefing on some shithole country when – ouch!  Doc, what can you do for me?

Doctor:  We’ve been through this before, Mr. President.  The best thing you could do is lose weight.  That would take pressure off …

Trump:  Hold it right there.  We both know that’s not going to happen.  Isn’t there anything else?

Doctor:  A little rest might not hurt.  Can you cancel your appearances for a couple of days?

Trump:  I guess so.  But I’m sure that fake media will start rumors about how I had a stroke or something.

Doctor:  Mr. President, are you sure you don't want me to make an announcement about how serious your bone spurs are?

Trump:  Why bother?  No one believes that I couldn’t serve in Vietnam because of these blasted --- ouch!

Doctor:  As you wish, sir.  If only the people how brave you are.

Trump:  You could say that, again.  Sometimes, when they flare up really bad, I’m not even sure what I’m saying.