May 7, 2019
Potomac, MD
Administrators at St. Andrew’s Episcopal School were
flummoxed when the parents of one of their students refused to sign his 3rd
Quarter Progress Report:
“It’s not that
odd that parents forget to sign the report, but this is the first time I’ve heard
a parent invoke Executive Privilege.”
“How does this
involve Executive Privilege?”
“I asked, of
course, but, um ..., the parent, was rather adamant that he would not discuss it further.”
“Just to be
clear, 'the parent' we are talking about is President Donald Trump, correct?”
“The parent
was also rather adamant that I not mention his name. He was rather graphic about what might happen
if I did. Then handed the phone to his
wife and said, ‘here, it’s about the boy.’”
“And was she
more helpful?”
“It sounded
like she wanted to be, but she ended up saying, ‘I cannot sign it because of
that thing Donald said.’”
“So it was
President Trump.”
[Gulps] “There are a lot
men named Donald.”
“Okay. Did Barron, or 'the student,’ get bad
grades?”
“Actually, we
do not give out students ‘grades.’ Our
students’ progress is indicated primarily with emojis. We just want parents to sign it to keep them
involved.”
“So what
now? Are you going to appeal this?”
“Appeal? It’s a report card, it’s not like we are
going to make a Federal case out of this.”
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