Mueller Cannot Give Clear Order for Breakfast

Overheard in a local diner

Washington, DC

May 29, 2019

[Robert S.] Mueller [III]:  Can you tell me about your breakfast specials?

Waitress:  Sure, hon.  We have four specials today: Number 1 is a bacon and eggs with toast; Number 2 is French toast; Number 3 is a Western omelet; and Number 4 is oatmeal with raisins or blueberries.  They’re all $4.99, unless you want to add a side.   So what’ll it be?

Mueller:  They all sound really good.  But my doctor says I need to eat healthier, and I have to do what my doctor says.

Waitress:  I’m no doctor, but it sounds like you are saying you want the oatmeal.  Number 4.

Mueller:  Bacon and eggs?  I know that’s bad for my cholesterol. 

Waitress:  So, you want the oatmeal?

Mueller:  And French toast?  Sounds too rich.

Waitress:  Why don’t you just let me bring you the oatmeal?  We don’t add any sugar.

Mueller:  And what’s in the Western omelet?

Waitress:  That’s a 3-egg omelet with ham, green peppers, and onion.

Mueller:  Ouch!  That’s not only bad for my cholesterol, but there’s the acid reflux.

Waitress:  Okay.  I can bring you the oatmeal if you want.  All you have to do is tell me "I want the oatmeal."

Mueller:  It’s not what I want.  But like I said, according to my doctor, I need to eat healthier.

Waitress:  Look, mister, from all that you said is seems clear that you want the oatmeal.  Is that right?

Mueller:  Didn’t you hear what I told you?  What I want doesn't matter; it's what my doctor will allow.  There should be no more questions.

Waitress:  Well I have one.  What do you want for lunch?

Mueller:  Huh?

Waitress:  We just stopped selling breakfast.