January 16, 2018
Somewhere in the West Wing
Washington, DC
Kelly: Okay, we
all know why we're here. We've got to
get ahead of this story on what happened and what was said in that Immigration
meeting with the Congressional leaders.
Trump: You mean when I called Africa a bunch of
shi....
Kelly: Sir! We agreed you weren't going to say that word
ever again.
Trump: Okay, but I
still don't see the big deal, they're a bunch of shi ....
Kelly: Sir!!!
Trump: Heh-heh-heh,
got you!
Kelly: Yes, you
did, sir. [Muttering] Moron. Okay, to
recap, we tried to go with a quasi-denial, saying that although the President
did not say those specific words, that "tough" language was used, but
that did not go over very well. This
just led to more questions about exactly what that language was. Then we tried floating the idea that the
President actually said "shithouse countries," not "shithole
countries..."
Trump: Heh-heh,
you said it!
Kelly: [Deep
breath] ... to give our friends who "couldn't remember" hearing that
word some cover, but this did not go over much better. Turns out that shithouse sounds as bad as
shithole.
Miller: How about
shiplap?
Kelly: What's
that?
Miller: Shiplap. You know, exposed rough-sawn boarding. Don't you ever watch home improvement shows? It's shiplap this and shiplap that. It's supposed to give a room a certain rustic
look.
Kelly: Okay, how does that help us here?
Miller: What if we say that the President called
the nations of Africa "shiplap countries?" That might mean he seems them as solidly built
while still authentic.
Kelly: Hey, that's
not bad. And since the President has a
background in construction, he would know all about shipflap, not like those
city liberals who couldn't tell ...
Miller: Shiplap,
no "f." Ship-lap.
Kelly: Whatever. Mr. President, have you ever heard of ship...
ship-lap?
Trump: Heh-heh,
you said it again!
Kelly: Don't
worry, we'll work on it. Get Sanders in
here!
No comments:
Post a Comment