Daylight Savings Mayhem

Across the country, rescue crews and emergency rooms were stretched to the limit trying to handle the rash of accidents and mishaps caused by daylight savings time-induced sleep disorder, a recently discovered condition whereby the mere mention of the words "daylight savings time" evokes a Pavlovian response in sufferers.  Waiting for his Nissan Stanza to be towed from a ditch near the George Washington Parkway in McLean, VA, 42-year old Russ Westhaven recalled, "I was on my way to church, feeling a little bit drowsy, when they mentioned daylight savings time on the radio and -- Boom! -- I was out like a light.  Next thing I knew, I my car was wedged between two spruce trees."  Westhaven added, "It's funny, last week I had to get up an hour early for a meeting and it was no big deal.  Must be something about daylight savings time..."  Before he could finish his sleep, Westhaven was snoring.

This wasn't news to ER nurse Sharon Carter.  "We see the same thing every year.  Folks falling down stairs, sticking their hands the toasters, spilling hot coffee all over themselves.  Doesn't anyone ever think to go to bed an hour early?  I'm going to write my congressman, or someone, so that the government put out some kind of alerts that if people would just go to bed early it will be easier to adjust to daylight savings time ...."  But at the utterance of those words, Carter fell into a deep slumber.