Oh Thank Heaven ...

January 10, 2018

Somewhere near you, USA

- Sir, I am afraid you cannot come in.  This 7-11 will be closed until we're through.

- What is this, some kind of raid?

- I'm afraid I cannot comment on that.  Well, you look okay --- I guess you could call it a raid.

- Wow, so they finally sent someone out.  I don't believe it!

- Sir?

- I've been complaining about this place for years.  I assumed that no one cared.  But you're here!

- In that case, sir, would you mind answering a few questions.

- Sure, anything to help.

- Okay.  So what can you tell us about Jamma Barre?

- Who? 

- Jamma Barre.  He works here.  (Shows a picture.)

- Oh, Jimbo!  Sure.  He told me I could never pronounce his name correctly so I call him Jimbo.

- Know him well?

- Pretty well, I guess.  We talk 3 or 4 times a week.

- Do you know how long Mr. Barre has been in the country?

- You got me there.  I know it's been a couple of years since he got his citizenship.

- Excuse me, did you say citizenship?

- That's right.

- He's a United States citizen?

- Yep.

- Are you sure?

- I wasn't there, but he showed me pictures of the swearing in.

- Okay, let's forget about Mr. Barre.  How about Syed Jinnah?

- Can't help you there.

- This guy.  (Shows a picture.)

- Oh, you mean Sid.  Helluva a guy. 

- Well, do you have any reason to consider Mr. Jinnah, I mean "Sid," a threat to our country?

- Sid?  Of course, not, but then again, he is a Yankee fan, he-he-he.  

- So Mr. Jinnah is a baseball fan?

- Not just baseball, any sport, it's all he talks about.  Say, how come all these questions about the workers?  When are we going to talk about the egg roll?

- The egg roll?

- That's right, the egg roll.  The egg roll that was so old and crusty that it pulled out my crown!  

- The egg roll?

- Come on, I sent in a picture of my tooth stuck in the egg roll.  You must have seen it.  I don't blame Jimbo and Sid, I'm sure it's the higher ups who won't let them throw out the food, but I thought you guys could do something.

- Egg roll?  No, I'm sorry, sir, we can't help you with that.  You'll need to move along now.

- Wait, aren't you from the Health Department?

- No, sir, and you'll need to move along.

- Well, then who are you?

- Immigration, sir.  Again, I need to ask you to ... (turns) Fred!! Don't eat that!!!