Palm Beach -- ???
February 2, 2021
Call Center Rep:
“Lawyer Line, what is your legal problem?”
Melania: Are you the lawyer people?
Call Center Rep: Yes, ma’am. That’s us. So what is your legal problem?
Melania: One minute, please. [Offline] Donald, it’s them.
Trump: [Offline] Shhh – I told you – no real names. [Takes receiver] Thank you, um, Miss Jones. Hello, is this Hank Miller?
Call Center Rep: Good morning, sir, and who do I have the pleasure of speaking with?
Trump: Um, John, John Barron. Are you Hank Miller?
Call Center Rep: No, sir.
Trump: Look. I got the number from a billboard with a big picture of Hank Miller that said to call him if I need a lawyer fast, and boy, do I ever need a lawyer fast. I have a trial this week and my lawyers dumped me. Can you believe that?
Call Center Rep: Wow, it sounds like you called the right number. Now, Mr. Barron, can you tell me a little bit about your situation? Are you in jail now?
Trump: Jail? No! Listen, I need to speak with Hank Miller, so just get him on the phone. Or I could drive over there if that would be more convenient.
Call Center Rep: Well, if you could just tell me your problem I will be sure to match with the perfect attorney.
Trump: Hey, the sign said call “me” so I want to speak with Hank Miller. What’s your name?
Call Center Rep: Um, you can call me Dave.
Trump: Dave? That’s a pretty funny accent you have for a “Dave”?
Call Center Rep: Yes, sir. Now – again – if you could tell me about your problem.
Trump: Well, this is a little embarrassing, but I have been impeached.
Call Center Rep: I’m sorry, can you spell that?
Trump: Spell that? Hey, what kind of a law firm is this?
Call Center Rep: You see, sir, most of our calls are for drunk driving, public intoxication, or violating a restraining order, so if you could just spell … how did you say that?
Trump: I-M-P-E-A-C-H-M-E-N-T
Call Center Rep: And what city do you live in?
Trump: Palm Springs, Florida. Wait a minute! Where are you?
Call Center Rep: I am sorry that I am unable to give you that information. But I am looking, Mr. Barron, and I am afraid I do not see any attorneys in your area that handle, um, um, this problem.
Trump: But the sign said any legal problem.
Call Center Rep: [Sees supervisor signalling to speed up call] Thank you for calling the Lawyer Line, sir. Please call us back if you get arrested for drunk driving. And good luck with your imbea…, impar…, good luck, sir.
[Hangs up phone]
Trump: Hey, hey! That little !@#$% hung up on me!
Melania: That’s the fifth one and I’m late for my massage. What now?
Trump: Just dial the next one. Meanwhile I'll see if Eric found any more numbers.
February 2, 2021
Melania: Are you the lawyer people?
Call Center Rep: Yes, ma’am. That’s us. So what is your legal problem?
Melania: One minute, please. [Offline] Donald, it’s them.
Trump: [Offline] Shhh – I told you – no real names. [Takes receiver] Thank you, um, Miss Jones. Hello, is this Hank Miller?
Call Center Rep: Good morning, sir, and who do I have the pleasure of speaking with?
Trump: Um, John, John Barron. Are you Hank Miller?
Call Center Rep: No, sir.
Trump: Look. I got the number from a billboard with a big picture of Hank Miller that said to call him if I need a lawyer fast, and boy, do I ever need a lawyer fast. I have a trial this week and my lawyers dumped me. Can you believe that?
Call Center Rep: Wow, it sounds like you called the right number. Now, Mr. Barron, can you tell me a little bit about your situation? Are you in jail now?
Trump: Jail? No! Listen, I need to speak with Hank Miller, so just get him on the phone. Or I could drive over there if that would be more convenient.
Call Center Rep: Well, if you could just tell me your problem I will be sure to match with the perfect attorney.
Trump: Hey, the sign said call “me” so I want to speak with Hank Miller. What’s your name?
Call Center Rep: Um, you can call me Dave.
Trump: Dave? That’s a pretty funny accent you have for a “Dave”?
Call Center Rep: Yes, sir. Now – again – if you could tell me about your problem.
Trump: Well, this is a little embarrassing, but I have been impeached.
Call Center Rep: I’m sorry, can you spell that?
Trump: Spell that? Hey, what kind of a law firm is this?
Call Center Rep: You see, sir, most of our calls are for drunk driving, public intoxication, or violating a restraining order, so if you could just spell … how did you say that?
Trump: I-M-P-E-A-C-H-M-E-N-T
Call Center Rep: And what city do you live in?
Trump: Palm Springs, Florida. Wait a minute! Where are you?
Call Center Rep: I am sorry that I am unable to give you that information. But I am looking, Mr. Barron, and I am afraid I do not see any attorneys in your area that handle, um, um, this problem.
Trump: But the sign said any legal problem.
Call Center Rep: [Sees supervisor signalling to speed up call] Thank you for calling the Lawyer Line, sir. Please call us back if you get arrested for drunk driving. And good luck with your imbea…, impar…, good luck, sir.
[Hangs up phone]
Trump: Hey, hey! That little !@#$% hung up on me!
Melania: That’s the fifth one and I’m late for my massage. What now?
Trump: Just dial the next one. Meanwhile I'll see if Eric found any more numbers.
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