The Trumps Discover the Working Class

February 20, 2021

Eric:  Mr. Weinberg, we want to thank you for agreeing to speak at the CPAC convention.  When we saw your article ‘The Class Roots of the January 6 Events,’ we knew right away that you are our kind of people.
Weinberg: Thank you.  Actually, I am just thrilled that anyone even read it.
Donald Jr.:  Yes sir, it’s refreshing to see how we are not the only ones who recognize that the working class has been ignored in this country for too long.
Eric:  And not only that, but we also thought if we could add some more speakers who, like yourself, are … um … how should I put this, of the Hebrew persuasion.
Weinberg:  Hebrew?  Sorry, guys, I don’t know a word of Hebrew, just a few Yiddish words that I picked up from my father’s Lenny Bruce albums.
[Trumps look at each other in befuddlement]
Donald Jr.:  Okay.  The thing is, we just need a clear message in support of the working class.
Weinberg:  So what part of my article did you like best?  I’d just like to know what I should emphasize in my talk.
Eric:  Well, basically, you know, how the elite has ignored the working class, so sometimes the workers need to take action on their own.
Weinberg:  Amen to that.  But should I talk about how their real enemies are the bankers on Wall Street or on how workers should occupy vacant housing?
Donald Jr.:  [Nervously] Um, no actually, it would help if you talk about how Donald Trump is the real friend of the working class.
Weinberg:  Donald Trump?!  I wrote about how the lumpenproletariat has rallied around this false idol and how the conscious working class need to focus its energies on its real needs, like the confiscation of unearned wealth, the nationalization of the health care industry, and ... Wait a second -- Just what does CPAC stand for?  I thought it was Communist Party - Atlantic Coast.
Eric:  Whoa, I’m sorry to interrupt, Mr. Weinberg, but I just got a text saying the conference has been cancelled.  So, well, goodbye.
[Phone goes dead]
Donald Jr.:  Eric ….
Eric:  Don’t say it.  I know.  I should have read the article first.
Donald Jr.:  You’re damn right you should have read the article.  Do you realize what a disaster that would have been?
Eric:  But it was behind a pay wall.