Biden Suddenly Open to Foreign Meddling

February 12, 2020

JB:  Hunter?  Glad you’re in.

HB:  Dad?  Is that really you?  I thought your campaign manager said not to call me.

JB:  Look, I’m desperate.  Do you still have any friends in Ukraine?

HB:  Huh? 

JB:  I know you had a phony job and everything, but you must have some useful contacts there.

HB:  Are you looking for a job, Dad?

JB:  Yes, President of the United States.  Did you see the results in New Hampshire?  My campaign is in the toilet.  What’s the name of that Ukrainian company that meddled in 2016?

HB:  Are talking about CrowdStrike?

JB:  Yeah, that’s it.  Cool name.  Do you know anyone there?

HB:  Look, Dad.  Not even Trump believes CrowdStrike had anything to do with the 2016 election.  Maybe it would help if you stopped insulting the voters.

JB:  Suddenly you’re an expert on campaigns, you mangy boll weevil.  Do you have a number for them or not?

HB:  Goodbye, Dad.

JB:  What?  Don’t you hang up on me, you … you, toothless Tomcat … you ….Hunter?

[Dial tone]