Washington-Moscow
October 11, 2019
TRUMP: Vlad?
Are you there?
PUTIN: Yes,
Donald. What is it?
TRUMP: Well, Vlad
– oh, by the way, have I ever told you how cool it that you let me call you ‘Vlad’?
PUTIN: Yes,
Donald, every time we talk. Now, what is
it you want, Donald?
TRUMP: I’m so
depressed, Vlad. It looks like I am going
to be impeached. Do you think I should
just resign and save myself all the trouble?
PUTIN: Resign? Impeached?
Don’t be so negative. This will
pass, Donald, trust me.
TRUMP: Well,
that’s the thing, Vlad. You told me that
I should investigate what Biden’s son did in Ukraine, so I did. When I said it would look bad that I was using our diplomats to go after my political opponent, you said if I had Giuliani do
it, no one would notice. Then you told
me I should go ahead and let Turkey move into Syria because Erdogan
promised you he would not hurt the Kurds.
PUTIN: What is
your point, Donald?
TRUMP: Well,
Vlad, I don’t know how to say this, but you always tell me to me to trust you, yet it
seems like all your advice has gotten me in hot water. It might help if you told me what the plan is. You just keep telling me to trust you.
PUTIN: I
see. Okay, Donald, what if I were to
tell you that this was the plan all along.
That the whole reason our government devoted so many resources to getting
you elected was because we thought you were so vain and incompetent that you
would turn the USA into such a laughing stock that it would be years, maybe
centuries before the USA would dare tell another country that it wasn’t
democratic enough, or that it was too corrupt.
TRUMP: But,
but, but …
PUTIN: PSYCHE!
[Both laugh]
TRUMP: Oh,
Vlad. You really had me going there.
PUTIN: Now, let’s
cut out all this talk about resigning.
We have great things to do.
TRUMP: Okay. But, seriously, what is the end game?
PUTIN: You’ll
have to trust me, Donald.
No comments:
Post a Comment