Russian President Vladimir Putin was still fuming after
returning to Moscow from his Helskinki summit meeting with American President
Donald Trump:
-- "That idiot! Our discussion could not have been better. I got him to agree not only to endorse Russia's annexation of Crimea but to open a US consulate and to issue a joint statement blaming the Ukrainian defense forces -- actually, the CIA-backed Ukrainian defense forces - for shooting down Malaysia Flight 17 if we let him build a hotel in Moscow. I told him: 'Donald, before we announce these brilliant agreements, you will need to show people at our press conference that you stood up to me.' And he says, 'Sure thing, Vlad.' That's right, he calls me 'Vlad.' But did you see that? I feel betrayed. Back to the drawing board. We'll have to see how it goes with President Pence."
-- "Don't you mean, Vice President Pence, Vladimir Vladimirovich?"
-- "Viktor, golubchik, the order has already been given."
-- "That idiot! Our discussion could not have been better. I got him to agree not only to endorse Russia's annexation of Crimea but to open a US consulate and to issue a joint statement blaming the Ukrainian defense forces -- actually, the CIA-backed Ukrainian defense forces - for shooting down Malaysia Flight 17 if we let him build a hotel in Moscow. I told him: 'Donald, before we announce these brilliant agreements, you will need to show people at our press conference that you stood up to me.' And he says, 'Sure thing, Vlad.' That's right, he calls me 'Vlad.' But did you see that? I feel betrayed. Back to the drawing board. We'll have to see how it goes with President Pence."
-- "Don't you mean, Vice President Pence, Vladimir Vladimirovich?"
-- "Viktor, golubchik, the order has already been given."
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