Friday, July 7, 2017

Trump Was Expecting Putin To Be Taller

Hamburg, Germany
July 7, 2017

Donald Trump's long anticipated first meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin got off to an awkward start when Trump was temporarily stunned by his Russian counterpart's diminutive stature.  Ready to give Putin one of his now legendary shoulder socket-wrenching handshakes, Trump almost poked Putin in the eye with his outstretched hand, then overcompensated by almost kneeling down to even out their heights.  As he was helped back to his feet, Trump turned to his aides and asked "Is that really him?"  Although Putin's insecurity about his height is well known, Trump was not informed of this by his Russian affairs advisor who was hired on the strength of  a viral story on "hot" Russian women tennis players he penned in his previous post as Breitbart senior editor.  Hours after the meeting, Trump still seemed shaken, "It was so creepy.  I thought it had to be one of those midgets like in the Austin Powers movies.  I can't believe that's the guy who got me elected."

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