London - G-7 Reception
June 10, 2021
Guard: Ma’am,
your identification?
Ivanka: That’s okay, I’m one of them.
Guard: If you are a participant, then you were issued an identification badge.
Ivanka: You don’t understand, I’m a friend of Herr Merkel – Herr is for a woman, right?
Guard: It doesn’t matter if you are a friend of Frau Merkel, what matters is that you have identification. So if you could just show me your badge.
Ivanka: But I belong here! Oh, there goes Justin Trudeau. He’s the Canadian president, you know. [Shouts and waves] Justin! Justin! Over here! They won’t let me in! [Trudeau keeps walking] I guess he has a really important meeting, or else he would have come right over here to set me straight.
Guard: Actually, it looks like Prime Minister Trudeau has an 'important meeting' with the buffet. And do you see that plastic card hanging on his jacket. That is Prime Minister Trudeau’s identification badge. If you could just show me one of those I can let you in.
Ivanka: This is so insulting! The Queen is going to be here soon. When I get in there, you are going to be in big trouble.
Guard: Unless I am mistaken, I detect an American accent. Perhaps someone in the US delegation could assist you. Would you like me to call …
Ivanka: No!
Johnson: Ivanka! What a surprise.
Guard: Prime Minister Johnson, do you know this woman?
Johnson: I should say so.
Ivanka: That’s okay, I’m one of them.
Guard: If you are a participant, then you were issued an identification badge.
Ivanka: You don’t understand, I’m a friend of Herr Merkel – Herr is for a woman, right?
Guard: It doesn’t matter if you are a friend of Frau Merkel, what matters is that you have identification. So if you could just show me your badge.
Ivanka: But I belong here! Oh, there goes Justin Trudeau. He’s the Canadian president, you know. [Shouts and waves] Justin! Justin! Over here! They won’t let me in! [Trudeau keeps walking] I guess he has a really important meeting, or else he would have come right over here to set me straight.
Guard: Actually, it looks like Prime Minister Trudeau has an 'important meeting' with the buffet. And do you see that plastic card hanging on his jacket. That is Prime Minister Trudeau’s identification badge. If you could just show me one of those I can let you in.
Ivanka: This is so insulting! The Queen is going to be here soon. When I get in there, you are going to be in big trouble.
Guard: Unless I am mistaken, I detect an American accent. Perhaps someone in the US delegation could assist you. Would you like me to call …
Ivanka: No!
Johnson: Ivanka! What a surprise.
Guard: Prime Minister Johnson, do you know this woman?
Johnson: I should say so.
Ivanka: Mr. Johnson, do you think you could talk
to someone? They won’t let me in.
Johnson: I see.
Well, no. I’m afraid that it is of
vital importance to my country that I get on President Biden’s good side, so …
well … Cheerio! My best to your father.
Ivanka:
Just wait until I talk to Putin!
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