Melania Has Already Spent Her Stimulus Check

White House - Situation Room

April 15, 2020

Trump:  Hey, Steve, could you hang on for a minute?

Mnuchin:  Of course, Mr. President, and if I could just say again, that I continue to be inspired by your firm leadership during this crisis.  Why, I was just telling …

Trump:  Can it.  I know I’m a great President already.  The thing is, I almost hate to bring it up, but Melania hasn’t gotten her check yet.

Mnuchin:  Her check?

Trump:  You know, her $1,200, like all Americans are getting.  As for me, of course, I won’t be accepting it, but Mrs. Trump has already spent hers on a necklace or something.

Mnuchin:  Sir, I thought you understood.  Not all Americans are getting a $1,200 check, and if you made more than $100,000 last year, you do not get anything.  Now I am guessing that Mrs. Trump will not be eligible for a check.

Trump:  Well, what will we have to do to make her eligible?

Mnuchin:  Make her eligible, sir?

Trump:  Yeah.  Do I have to re-file our taxes or something?

Mnuchin:  With all the scrutiny your taxes receive, I’m not sure that would be wise.  Couldn’t you just pay for the necklace, sir?

Trump:  Listen, Melania is an independent gal.  She was really happy to buy something with money she earned herself!

Mnuchin:  Well, sir, then maybe you could just write a check, and tell her that you took it out of the Treasury instead of your personal account?

Trump:  Good idea, but her kid …

Mnuchin:  Barron?

Trump:  Yeah, him, he already explained to her that I can’t do that.

Mnuchin:  [Laughing] Well, I guess I could have our guys at IRS print your name on the stimulus check, that way …

Trump:  Okay, do it.

Mnuchin:  [Alarmed] But, sir, that would probably cost millions of dollars, and …

Trump:  So, you can do it.  Thanks for taking care of it.  You’re a real pal.

Mnuchin:  [Yells at departing Trump] You’re an inspiration to us all, sir!