Post-Trial at Trump Towers

Trump Towers – Manhattan, NY
May 30, 2024

[Barron Trump walks into the kitchen and sees his mother and father]
BT: What’s he doing here?  I thought you said that …
MT: [Nervous laughter] Good news, son.  It turns out that in this country they don’t send you to jail right away when they find you guilty of a crime.
DT: That’s right, …. um …., champ, I mean ….
BT: Barron.  My name is Barron. 
DT: That’s right, Barron, you’re not getting rid of your dear dad that easily.
BT: Whatever.  I’m going back to my room.  I just wanted to tell you that I’m finished packing, mom.
DT: Packing?  Where’s he going?
MT: [More nervous laughter] Who knows?  Kids, right?
DT: Okay.  And come to think of it, where were you today?  I thought you said that you were going to be there for support.
MT: I was having my hair trimmed.  How was I supposed to know those people were going to find you guilty 34 times so fast?  [Stifles a giggle] You must not have had very good lawyers.
DT: Tell me about it.  None of them wanted to listen to me.
[They get up and walk into the next room]
DT: [Alarmed] Melania!  What are all these boxes doing here?  Are these from the golf club?  I told you that we have to keep these hidden in case the FBI comes snooping around.
MT: No, Donald.  These are not those boxes you have hidden in the kitchen at the club.  These are … um … well….
DT: Hey, didn’t there used to be a lot of art and stuff hanging on the walls?  And why couldn’t I find a spoon in the kitchen?  Wait a minute, are you planning on moving?
MT: Well, sweetheart, with you being in jail and everything, I decided to talk to a realtor, and he told me there’s a great market right now, so I thought I would just….
DT: Cut and run.  Isn’t that great.  Well I guess you didn’t read your prenup too closely or else you would know that if anything happens to me this place goes to …
MT: Ivanka.
DT: That’s right, Ivanka.  And I’m sure she would never …
MT: No, I mean Ivanka just walked in.
IT: Hi Melania, what’s he doing here?