Washington, DC
January 4, 2019 (Day 14 of the Shutdown)
Hints from White House aides have raised hopes that an end
to the partial government shutdown may near:
Aide: “You can expect to see the President offer a compromise in
the next negotiating session with the Congressional leadership.”
A-W: “Is he still demanding the wall?”
Aide: “Not the wall, but a wall.”
A-W: “What do you mean?”
Aide: “Instead of a border wall that would extend for hundreds of
miles and cost tens of billions of dollars, the President will settle for a
sound wall at Mar-a-Lago along Saturn Boulevard. Well, a sound barrier really, but it helps if
you let him call it a wall.”
A-W: “Is this really that important to him?”
Aide: “Are you kidding? Last
month he was playing a round with Senator Graham – and let’s say there was a friendly
wager riding on whether the President could make a 12-foot putt on the 3rd
green. Right as he struck the ball, some
passing motorist yelled “Trump sucks!” and, well …”
A-W: “He missed the putt?”
Aide: “Sadly, but Senator Graham was gracious enough to allow a do-over
– (covering his mouth) and gracious enough not to notice that the President’s
do-over putt was from 5 feet.”
A-W: “So how much will this sound barrier cost?”
Aide: “Sound wall, remember to call it a wall. And we will be asking for $2 million.”
A-W: “I know that’s a stepdown from $5 billion, but it still
sounds like a lot for a sound barrier.”
Aide: “Wall! How
many times do I …. Sorry, we know it’s a lot, but we promised that we would
bring in NASA engineers and use the latest materials to insure that the wall
is sound-proof.”
A-W: “Thank you. I’m sure
my readers will be very excited to hear about this sound b…. ‘wall’.”
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