March 6, 2019
Hannity: Tonight on a special “Hannity” we are fortunate
to have as our guest, once again, the 45th President of the United States,
Donald Trump. Good evening, Mr.
President.
Trump: Good
evening, Sean. Always great to be here.
Hannity: Mr. President, once again you are the target
of unfounded attacks by the radical wing of the Democratic party. How are you coping?
Trump: Just fine, Sean. The American people voted for strong
leadership in 2016, and a strong leader does not wilt.
Hannity: Well said, sir. But these abortion-loving socialists just
will not stop. Now they want you tax
returns and business records going back 10 years.
Trump: It’s
another witch hunt, Sean.
Hannity: Sir,
have you thought about calling their bluff?
Why not just give them the records and show them that you have nothing
to hide and that you were an honest businessman?
Trump: I can’t
do that, Sean, because there are no records.
Hannity: I’m afraid there is a problem with my audio. I thought you just say that there are no records.
Trump: No,
you heard me. There are no records.
Hannity: So, no tax returns, contracts, invoices?
Trump: None.
Hannity: Lease agreements, earnings statements, audit
reports?
Trump: All
up here, Sean [taps forehead]
Hannity: [Confused] Why, sir, that’s un-be-lieve-able. [Perks up] I’m sorry, what I mean is, that’s amazing!
Trump: I know, Sean.
I laugh when I think about how all these supposedly smart guys with
their billions of dollars who waste so much money on records. Who needs it?
If they just had big brains like me, they wouldn’t need all those
records. It's all up here, Sean, how much we paid to every consultant, lawyer, shredding company, you name it.
Hannity: But, sir, aren’t you required by law to maintain
certain records?
Trump: Yeah,
every once and a while some pencil pusher shows up and says he wants to see
this file, or that bill of sale. We just
tell him we’ll mail it later -- heh, heh -- a lot later. This is one of the reasons my administration
is working hard to get rid of all the red tape that businessmen have to put up
with.
Hannity: But still, sir, I know that the Trump
Organization was involved in a lot of transactions that involved complex valuations. How were you able to come up with these
figures without …
Trump: [Interrupting] Sean,
you forget [taps forehead again], this brain knows more about real estate than
any stinking spread sheet.
Hannity: But again, aren’t there laws …
Trump: Sean,
Sean. It’s not like I killed
somebody. And come to think about it, if
I did, there wouldn't be any record of it, because I’m not one of those people who
would come home and write down “Today I killed somebody” and put it in a
file. So when the police came, I could just
say [Screen goes blank]
Hannity: [tugging at collar] Well, we seem to have lost our feed with the President. So when we come back, we’ll just show the
video of when I told that American-hating foreigner to go fuck himself. And be sure you tune in for ‘Fox & Friends’
tomorrow when the panel will predict what anti-Semitic statement Ilhan Omar
will make next.
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